I want to get better at dealing with rejection so it doesn’t derail me

BUFFERING -- An alternative regulatory strategy to negative feedback about your work

You need a different frame of reference that current solutions don't offer. Let's talk about a technique called buffering. This is a term that has wide application across many disciplines. A buffer in rail transport is a device that cushions impacts between vehicles. A buffer in metalworking is wheel that smooths a workpiece's surface. A buffer in geography is a country that prevents conflict two rival or hostile powers. A buffer in fitness is your body's ability to neutralize and eliminate waste that congests muscles during anaerobic workouts. A buffer in biology is a reservoir of molecules that counteracts fast disturbances and ensures more robust regulation. And lastly, a buffer in chemistry is an agent that help a compound maintain homeostasis value after a foreign agent has been introduced. Do you notice any commonalities among the use cases? Buffering is essentially an alternative regulatory strategy to negative feedback. And the good news is, anyone can develop a buffer for any experience of failure. Your response to rejection can become just as creative as the very work that was rejected. It just takes intention and imagination. Let's say you submitted a piece of work to potential client, prospective buyer or current coworker. You labored hard on it, you're proud of the final product and you're energized by the prospect of the upcoming project. But you soon discover that, for whatever reason, they ultimately gave it a hard pass. God damn it. That's bullshit. Those bastards would know good work if it bit them in the ass. Okay, fair enough. We can all admit how little it takes to activate feelings of rejection. But before this feedback sends you spiraling into a whirlpool of irrationality, try introducing a buffer. Counterbalance your negative experience by immediately overwhelming it with positive proof points. Make a mental list of all the value adds from your rejection. You felt competent during the process, you doubled your learning on an important subject, you didn't focus on your depression all week, you deepened a new professional relationship, you grew your skillset in a key area, you got paid money to do work you enjoy, you created value for others and captured value for yourself, and you now have a usable template that can be repurposed for future work. How is this a failure again?