The Context
People complain for useful and healthy reasons. Catharsis, empowerment, stress reduction and emotional release, to name a few. By expressing our dissatisfaction in small doses, either publicly or privately, we’re able to preserve our sanity and create a release valve for all of our feelings of frustration. And along the way, we might even create connections with other people who feel the same, rather than ending up alone in our pain. The question is, when does complaining reach the point of diminishing returns?
The Tool
Railroad Switch
RAILROAD SWITCH — Catching yourself in the act of making superfluous complaints and redirect that energy more usefully
To what degree does our complaining begin to work against us? All catharsis aside, if we don’t eventually turn our complaints into effective action, then not only does our grumbling grow tiresome for everyone around us, but we also trap ourselves in an infinite regression. We keep our focus on the problem, rather than on potential solutions. And eventually we trap ourselves into a place of resigned acceptance, feeling stuck rather than motivated to change. Not to mention, the excess cortisol released by our frequent complaining impairs our immune system and makes us more susceptible to health problems. Looks like the marginal utility of a good kvetch is a slippery slope. Think of it as a simply physics equation. The time and energy required to bitch about something is the same as it is to do something about it. The only difference is, one moves us forward and the other keeps us on the wrong track. Better to make the railroad switch before the train plummet into the ravine. It's the same amount of energy, just used in the opposite direction.
The Rest
If we can engage our mental railroad switch, gracefully enabling our emotional train to be guided from one track to another, then our feelings are channeled in service of our values. Do you need to hang out in your complaints, or focus on what you’re committed to?
The Benefits
Stay focused on our key commitments without distraction
Remain calm in the face of stress and disappointment
Find solutions to problems from a place of empowerment
Build forward momentum during times of change and transition