Sitting on high with a great ledger

Keep your life in your hands.

By all means, trust the process, respect your limits, let things unfold as they may, and surrender to what you can’t control.

But just know, there is nobody behind the scenes pulling all the strings. You’re not another puppet in god’s cosmic drama. Whatever struggle you face, the responsibility is yours for the taking.

If there are companywide layoffs at your organization, and fifteen percent of the workforce gets eliminated overnight, and your name is on that list, that is not your fault. You didn’t personally do wrong, it’s a business decision.

There was an economic shitstorm, and you happen to be driving along the road when the funnel touched the ground, so it sucked your car up into the sky. Now all you can do is run in the opposite direction and hope you’re not impaled by a flying telephone pole.

And it’s funny, because the idea of taking things personally has historically been viewed as foolish, painful and unnecessary. Every parent, teacher, coach, therapist and manager we ever had, told us not to take things personally.

There’s nothing healthy or useful about falling down the rabbit hole of inadequacy. If we view such events as reflections of our true worth as human beings, it’s a recipe for suffering.

This is a fine argument that I am willing to cosign.

But the real question is, what’s the alternative? If we choose not to take things personally, is there another path?

I believe there is.

The nuance is going to be subtle, yet powerful.

Instead of taking things personally, take them purposely.

What’s the difference? It’s spiritual intention and time orientation. Taking things personally focuses on who we were in the past. It’s about what we think we should have done. Our mindset is mired in the mud of regret, which is just a code word for shame.

Compare that attitude to taking things purposely. This path focuses on who we might become in the future. It’s forward motivated. If something happens, and then all of a sudden, boom, we shift into a different gear and start routing that new information in our brain a different way, now that’s a powerful response.

We take time to feel our feelings, but we also use them as springboard to what’s next. Rather than drowning in the quicksand of what was.

In short order, we’re keeping our life in our hands.

I have a friend who’s doing a twelve step recovery program for alcoholics anonymous, and his take on the ever polarizing higher power issue is fascinating. Rather than letting go and letting god, as the old mantra suggests, he is letting go and leaping ahead.

Isn’t that lovely?

Matt is moving the story forward by his own violation.

Let me share a few of the affirmations he recites to himself each morning, as they’re full of empowering and purposeful language.

I am the one driving the process of growth. I take an active role in caring for myself. I accept my consistent positive behavior is the only way to improve. I believe that all rewards are primarily the result of my direct efforts.

In short, my friend is the one pulling the strings. He takes things purposely, not personally. Rather than subjectively judging himself, he is objectively fueling himself. Whatever happens is not good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure, it’s merely more data to work with.

It’s the step he took that was necessary to reach wherever he is now, which will take him wherever he needs to go next.

Do you take things personally, or do you take them purposely?

Forward motion is the only way out.

Even if it means taking small, incremental steps, that’s fine.

Whatever it takes to keep your lives in your hands.

Do you take things personally, or do you take them purposely?