Oh crap, somebody might actually see my work

When you’re a young creator, there’s nothing scarier than the prospect of nobody seeing your work.

Obscurity is the enemy.

That is, until you start getting some distribution. At which point the scariest thing suddenly inverts into, oh crap, somebody might actually see my work.

What a deeply vulnerable place to be. You just feel so exposed. Especially if your work is personal and honest, as the best art is. Foolish enough to put your whole heart on slow and reveal your feelings to the crowd below? Welcome to creativity.

This is the price of admission. You must come face to face with your fear of being seen for who you really are.

Campbell says everyone’s hero’s journey includes this threshold. Our innermost cave where we face the doubts and fears that first surfaced upon our call to adventure. Skywalker in the tree cave seeing his face in his father’s helmet, for example.

And as if that moment wasn’t scary enough, next you have to deal with people’s feedback about your work. They start sharing their interpretation about what they think your art meant. And you have this choking sense of violation that arises in you, because people act like they know you, simply because they’ve read or watched or listened to something you created.

Keep my name out of your mouth, you want to scream.

But this is actually the whole point of making things. We need others to be mirrors for us, even at our most vulnerable places. That way we can see what we’re supposed to be learning about ourselves.

Tweedy writes about this in his touching memoir about his life as a songwriter:

If you feel exposed when you’re singing to someone and each word gives you a distinct terrifying thrill resembling embarrassment, that means you’re doing something right.

Does that mean you have to reveal every inch of yourself every time? Probably not. But if you really do feel called to make things, and you want those things to touch people, then part of the agreement you make with the muse is that you are willing to stand naked.

Even if you don’t become great, you still become yourself. Which is not a bad consolation.

Remember, as creative people, seeing is the easy part. Being seen is the real work.

If you think it’s scary being a ghost, wait until you try on visibility.

Are you willing to make a huge effort to expose your innermost and richest wares to light?