I don’t want to have a meeting about the meeting

What is the relationship between how many times you talk about something versus actually doing it?

As an example, if you say you are going to do laundry five times before you actually throw the clothes in the wash, then your word to action ratio is five to one.

But if you say it once and then immediately do it, your ratio is one to one.

Ideally, we want to keep that number weighted in favor of action, not words. Spending a majority of our time on doing rather than talking.

And not that talking is necessarily a bad thing, or doing is always a good thing. It’s a law of averages. There’s a balance we all must strike in order to find fulfillment.

I’m reminded of a time I was busking in the park years ago. A man with a guitar on his back came through the tunnel where I play and watched in silence. In between songs, he chatted me up.

The guy said he always wanted to perform music in public, but was too scared.

I told him I felt the same way for years. Because it’s vulnerable as hell. Especially when you’re playing original music. It feels like hanging your balls out in the window on the highway. In winter. With a blindfold on.

That didn’t exactly inspire his confidence, but he continued to listening for a little while longer. After my next song, he started ranting about how his soul was calling him to share his music, but his brain was distorting reality with fear and blocking his heart from expression.

Then he asked me if I had any advice for him. I told him:

Stop thinking. Get out of your head and into your hands, and start playing. That’s the only way out.

In essence, I was trying to tell the guy, without being too much of a jerk, get your word to action ratio down. Because right now I hear a lot of talking about this thing you say you want, but that’s about it.

This has always been a point of contention for me. I grow very frustrated very quickly when people’s ratios are too high. That tells me they’re stuck inside their heads, fabricating obstacles to their progress with fear, anxiety, worry and doubt.

Listen, I have compassion for the different types of motivational systems people have, but I also don’t want to have a meeting about the meeting.

Have you ever walked into one of those before? You step into a conference room or sing into a video call, people just wax on for thirty minutes, and then at the end, somebody says, well guys, that was a great meeting, why don’t we circle back next week and talk about this again?

No. Absolutely not. There will be no circling back, syncing up, checking in, touching base, or any other variation of talking. We are not going to brainstorm ideas about whether or not we should entertain the possibility of considering what kind of plan to make. All that’s going to do is kill our word to action ratio. If it’s not moving things forward, then it doesn’t need to happen.

Think of it like a movie. Mckee, the world renowned screenwriting coach, wrote in his bestselling book, if the value charged condition of the character’s life stays unchanged from one end of a scene to the other, nothing meaningful happens.

That movie is boring as shit. Everything becomes another scene delete for pacing reasons. Snooze fest.

Same goes for our real world experiences. We have to get that ratio down. And I’m not even a numbers driven person. I quantify almost nothing in my life, and rarely think about life in terms of math.

But maybe that’s what so compelling about the idea to me.

Ratios provide a clear and concise way to express a balance between two variables. It’s a scientific concept that helps me to identify opportunities for growth. Thinking in terms of ratios is useful for seeing patterns in behavior that aren’t immediately apparent otherwise.

I’ll never forget the time I attended a productivity seminar many years ago. A colleague of mine was facilitating the program, and she offered me a free ticket. Saturday morning from nine to noon. Since I was still a workaholic with no personal life and nothing better to do that day, I showed up.

Fifteen minutes into the workshop, I regretted my decision. The content was remedial at best and had no direct application to my work. I felt angry and resentful for agreeing to attend this pointless event, and sense my word to action ratio was inflating like a misshapen life raft.

And in my midwestern, codependent, people pleasing nature, my guilt prevented me from walking out.

So I whipped out my laptop and started writing furiously. Channeling all my difficult feelings into several chapters of my latest book that needed finishing. I spent the next three hours ignoring the remainder of the presentation.

When the workshop wrapped, I looked up from my screen feeling accomplished, proud and calm. On the way out of the conference room, I approached my colleague to thank her.

Wow, that was the best productivity seminar I’ve ever attended! I finished my new book!

She laughed and commented, well done. I love when attendees get their work done instead of paying attention to me.

What’s the number one obstacle to your word action ratio? How could you improve the relationship between how many times you talk about something versus actually doing it?

Whether you struggle with procrastination, motivation, fear of failure, perfectionism, lack of accountability or overcommitment, it’s never too late to turn the tide. People change. All the time. In big and unexpected ways.

Even if your original personality and formed personalities lend themselves to an inertia that gets in your own way, just know this. Your available personality is still at your disposal to build, change and grow. Upgrades are always available. No need to be a slave to your past selves. No need to beat yourself up for a lack of follow through.

This is not a failure, simply an opportunity for improvement. Hell, awareness alone is a form of action. That’s enough of an emotional victory to move the story forward.

Because once you become more attuned to your ratio of talking to doing, it’s only a matter of time before you see patterns and make conscious choices to change your behavior.

At the very least, you’ll stop having meetings about the meeting. Unless, of course, you work in politics, where the ratio of promises made versus kept is an abysmal fifty to one.

In which case, I’m sorry, but there is no hope for you.

How could thinking terms of ratios help you see patterns in your behavior that aren’t immediately apparent otherwise?