May 14, 2022

Dumpster hot tubs, wooden cars, leather guitars and sandals with spurs


Zero is a fascinating ideas.

Linguistically, it’s the number with the most nicknames, like naught, nil, null, aught, zilch, nada, zip, goose egg and a big fat donut hole.

And mathematically, it has unique properties that causes it to behave unlike any other integers. There’s something called the zero property of multiplication, which we learned on day one of algebra class.

Any number multiplied by zero is still zero. No matter how big it number is. Twelve times zero is still zero, and twelve million times zero is still zero.

Such a little bugger. It collapses the entire number line!

This property is an important one to understand. Not only when making calculations, but when launching products.

Because in any given enterprise, much of a business’s value can be rendered useless by one weak link the creative chain.

It’s interesting, my mantra has always been, ideas are free, execution is priceless. But it can cost businesses big money if the idea itself is terrible.

Let me give you an example. Here’s one of the more twisted business ideas that ran through my sick mind recently.

Kidnapping is a criminal offense. But it’s also a great way to get attention. Not to mention, make friends and family realize how much they really love you.

What if somebody invented a way to do this legally, efficiently and safely, so everybody wins?

Snatched will be the name of our new recreation service where you hire out of work actors to legally and safely abduct and confine you for a long enough period of time that your friends and family are reminded just how important you are to their lives.

At which point you are returned with minor cuts and bruises, and one hell of a story to tell. The ransom letter and local news coverage are included at no additional cost.

Welcome to the sympathy factory.

Snatched: Win their love without losing your life.

That’s what you call multiplying by zero. Even if a company were to orchestrate the kidnapping service for one customer, it would still be illegal, cause a significant traumatic event for at least ten people, and most likely lead to a lawsuit.

That’s a hundred percent a bad idea, no matter how well it’s executed.

And that was merely a hypothetical. There are real examples of multiplying by zero out in the world. Entire online communities have been built to catalog such ideas.

Turns out, lack of taste doesn’t seem to stop some people from flawlessly executing absolutely ridiculous products like dumpster hot tubs, wooden cars, leather guitars and sandals with metal spurs.

It’s work done so well, you don’t know whether to love it or hate it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there are some paid kidnappers knocking at my door, and it’s time for me to win back my family’s love.

Where in your business are you losing money trying to multiply by zero?