Your willingness to engage in goal directed behavior

Think in terms of learning from mistakes rather than failing.

Sure, maybe you botched an assignment at work, or said something idiotic that made your date get up and leave the restaurant during dinner.

But instead of beating yourself up for being a brainless putz, try making a list of everything you learned from that experience. Right then and there. Channel your humiliation through your fingers and see find the wisdom that is waiting for you.

Let the learning crowd out the loathing, and you’ll baby step your way to a higher perception of your own value.

I used to do that after every presentation I made for work. The minute I took my seat, I made a bullet point list of every lesson learned from the talk.

Funny thing is, the crappier my speech was, the longer the list was. That ritual reinforced my sense of growth, rather than stewing in self hatred for forgetting lines.

What about when you’re confronted with a seemingly impossible task? It’s an intimidating moment if you have a negative image of yourself.

Again, you can reframe your way to greater motivation.

I have done this with every job I’ve ever held. In the face of overwhelming tasks, assignments, and projects, I have never thought, oh shit I can’t do this.

The affirmation was more like, cool, no problem, I just haven’t figured this out yet.

Totally changes the intention and direction. The language is forward focused, solution oriented, and even adventurous.

It doesn’t guarantee success. Outcome is not under our control. But experience is. And that’s not nothing. The more you tell yourself the story about problems you haven’t solved yet, the greater your sense of efficacy becomes.

Soon you start seeking out those kinds of projects, solely because you enjoy the challenge of figuring things out.

As a reminder,  motivation isn’t something that happens to you, it happens in you. And there’s a direct relationship between motivation and worthiness.

If you want to impact your willingness to engage in any goal directed behavior, then work on the degree to which you value yourself.

The rest will follow suit.

Or you’ll spiral into an abyss of depression and drink your way to an untimely death.

Good luck!