You know what you know, and that’s the end of it

There’s a phenomenon called the curiosity empathy loop.

It’s an intricate and mutually reinforcing processes. Here’s how it works.

It starts with a genuine desire to learn about other people’s experiences, perspectives and emotions. You wonder what they think, and what factors influenced why they think it.

You’re not one of those people who appears to be interested in new ideas, but in reality, you know what you know, and that’s the end of it. There’s a sincere willingness and ability to challenge yourself intellectually. To the point of questioning your own assumptions and biases.

Then, that sense of curiosity fuels empathy. You can’t help but feel closer to someone, once you have left the limited world of your own mind and stepped into their experience. And that bell of awareness can’t be unrung. Consciousness shifts permanently.

That’s irreversible nature of true empathy. We cannot hold  a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own.

Now, the curiosity empathy loop isn’t just a theory, it’s been scientifically proven. Listen to this.

Individuals with higher levels of curiosity were shown to be better at understanding other people’s emotions and perspectives, according to one study from the journal of emotion. Also, individuals high in openness to experience are more likely to exhibit empathetic behaviors, as published in the journal of personality. Additionally, a study in the journal of applied social psychology found that activities designed to promote perspective taking increased empathy and other prosocial behaviors.

This is a real thing. Question is, how do we operationalize it? What’s the entry point for ordinary people into this mutually reinforcing process?

Today and tomorrow are a collection of tactics to get you started.

Number one, walk into a bookstore and read the first ten pages of book written by the enemy. Whomever your tribe or group or religion has designated as the gadfly or the antichrist, dig into their philosophy. Find out what the other side thinks. Even if they are the devil incarnate, challenge yourself to stay in the room with difference.

Now, if you’re concerned that somebody in your community know will spot you reading such a book, snap a photo, post the image on social media, shame you as a traitor, and have you excommunicated from the community, that’s a normal and understandable fear. If you’d prefer to do this in the privacy of your own home, perhaps using a burner phone in incognito mode while you’re taking a dump would be safer.

But give the bookstore exercise a chance. The fact that your act of curiosity occurs in public raises the stakes.

Now you’re accountable to your choice. It will feel uncomfortable, and that’s the point.