When your mind goes fast, fast, fast

I used to work with a world class overthinker.

Megan would say to herself, and this was out loud in front of the whole office, all of these torturous and not compassionate questions.

Why do I always do that? What am I doing to deserve this? Why can’t I get this right? And why do I have problems other people don’t have?

It was painful to listen to. Part of me wanted to walk over and give her hug, and part of me wanted to pour a bucket of ice water over her head.

I did neither.

Instead, I put on my headphones and got back to work. I wasn’t about to get sucked into her vortex of anxiety.

Although working with that woman made me realize, the problem isn’t overthinking, it’s underacting. If we dwell on something so much that we have difficulty concentrating on anything else, then it’s time to move on. If we get so caught up in our thoughts, that we’re unable to do the things that we most want to do, then we’ve chosen poorly. Whereas if we’re able to make choices based on what is important to us, even if it’s stressful, then shit, let’s go think to our heart’s desire.

Remember, it’s the same energy either way. Simply invested in a different direction. If those calories are burned meaningfully, then nobody can say we’re thinking is too much or too long.

Are you an overthinker, or do you simply think deeply? How does that habit impact your emotional wellbeing, cognitive patterns, behaviors, and coping strategies?

Now, I might be biased here, since I’m predisposed to high sensitivity, conscientiousness and obsessive thinking. But I can’t change that. I’m an analytical and curious person, driven by a passion for understanding the world around me.

So I would rather be an over thinker than an under thinker.

But I’ve also learned where to draw the line. I know when thinking deeply has degraded into thinking unproductively.

Typically by feeling the pressure in my chest. Or getting short of breath. That’s how I know I’ve been chewing on something too much for too long. At which point I will say any of the various mantras that help me snap out of inaction and into forward motion.

Just press send. The hay is in the barn. This is good enough. There’s nothing more to add here. I’ve done my part. This is no longer mine to carry. I trust my resources. It’s is out of my hands now. I release this into the world.

Those mantras are critical. It almost doesn’t matter what you say, only that it’s positive, and it demarcates your limit. Because this is fundamentally a boundary setting tool. Each of us must determine our own limits on how much time and energy we can dedicate to thinking, before it becomes counterproductive.

Listen, it happens to the best of us. Thoughts intrude into our minds. They keep repeating themselves. Without us wanting them to. And they don’t seem like much help. They take up all our attention and we get stuck. And we feel driven to continue dwelling on the same issue. Which makes it difficult to stay focused on what’s happening in the present.

It sucks. But it’s not forever. Equilibrium is possible. We activate the switchback and get our train of thought onto the right track.

Wait a minute. That sounds like another nursery rhyme to me.

What if the problem wasn’t over thinking, but under acting?