What’s next? Lay it on me, bucko.

If you want something done, give it to a busy person.

This is more of an anecdotal claim than a scientific theory. It’s hard to prove that busy people have more task efficiency, better time management skills, stronger work ethic, and greater executional abilities.

There’s no data suggesting they won’t procrastinate or get overwhelmed.

But here’s my theory.

If that busy individual were to step into the chaotic life of someone who is completely overwhelmed by their never ending to do list, and try to tackle as many tasks as possible, I bet it would work.

People could finally get out from behind things. Because there would be no baggage. No inner voice telling them stories about why they can’t get things done.

Just pure unadulterated action.

Now, I understand everyone needs to learn how to regulate their emotions, prioritize their work, and push through the resistance. Some rando busy person can’t just show up and do everything for them.

Or can they?

This is my new concept for a reality show. Hoarders was a groundbreaking show, but the series focused too much on the mental health piece. Each episode was basically a psychological intervention, specializing in some aspect involving the treatment of obsessive compulsive or anxiety disorders.

We simply don’t have time for all that. We need short term, practical solutions.

Taskmasters is my new game show with a twist. Each episode features an overwhelmed individual, like a stay at home dad, small business owner, or frenzied freelancer, who struggles to manage their time.

But the true star of the show is the irreverent busy professional who only has one hour of time in their packed schedule to help. We call them the taskmaster.

They will arrive at the contestant’s home and get handed a lengthy and seemingly impossible to do list. Put sixty minutes on the clock and watch them bang out as many items as possible in real time. They score points every time they circumvent someone’s bullshit excuse for not taking action.

Mundane household chores? No problem. Let’s load your laundry machine and get to work on these dishes, while instructing the repairman to fix the fridge. Hand me that bleach to clean the stains out of your husband’s underpants.

I know it’s revolting. but that’s marriage. Twenty minutes. Done. Moving on.

I also heard you needed to prepare a week’s worth of healthy meals for the kids? I got you covered. Three pounds of rice, three pounds of beans, twelve apples, and two bags of baby carrots. Should be ready in about fifteen minutes. Hope your family doesn’t mind a few extra farts around the house.

What’s next? Is that another complex project you’ve procrastinated for months? Lay it on me, bucko. I’ll organize this cluttered rathole you call a home office in no time. For starters, we’ll shred this pile of tax forms from ten years ago, since the government is almost certainly never going to audit your company.

Next, we’ll scoop up these unused electronics and place them out on the stoop for homeless people to disassemble. And finally, let’s hang these framed pictures of your hideous relatives before they collect more dust. Go get me a hammer. Twenty minutes.

Any more brain busters? Did I hear you say, an inbox full of three thousand unread messages?

There’s a problem we can solve in about ten seconds. Watch this. Select all. Delete. Empty trash. See how easy that was? Nope, it’s too late. They’re all gone. No time for the fear of missing out. Don’t worry, ninety percent of those emails were spam anyway. If it was important, that person will email you again. Which they won’t. Because it wasn’t.

After the commercial break, we’ll come back for the big reveal.

In this final segment of the show, the overwhelmed individual will walk through their transformed space, reflecting on the impact of seeing an already busy person tackle their to do list with such speed and efficiency.

Holy shit, they’d say to the camera, it took this stranger forty three minutes to accomplish what I’ve been putting off for two years. It’s so inspiring to watch someone singularly focused on execution, rather than being all up in their heads about perfection, procrastinating and people pleasing.

You finally helped me get out from behind it. Thanks taskmaster!

And now a word from our sponsor. Adderall is a prescription medication. Use only as directed. The risk of developing a full blown addiction or dependence is significant. Side effects may include nervousness, insomnia, appetite suppression and an insanely clean apartment.

What would help you get out from behind things?