What if each person’s unique priorities were good enough for you?

I don’t criticize people for giving up too easily.

If someone chooses not to do their absolute best, that’s no problem for me. It’s not my job to get a good performance out of everyone or even anyone. I am not the world’s unpaid life coach.

And I see no point in judging those who don’t strive to better themselves.

That’s their choice. I personally enjoy achieving and excelling, but inflicting those same standards on others doesn’t seem helpful.

We’re different people. All individuals have the freedom to choose their level of commitment and improvement, based on their own priorities and motivations. I respect everyone’s autonomy and choices. And I’ll be the first to offer encouragement if someone asks for or needs it.

But I’m not a dog with a bone. Isn’t there already enough chronic dissatisfaction in this world? Do we need another controlling dick hole with unrealistic expectations?

It’s interesting, there are filmmakers whose movies I cherish, and yet, their reputation for perfectionism truly disgusts me. Their commitment to excellent may seems admirable at first blush, but the relentless pursuit of impossible high standards causes collateral damage.

Kubrick was known to push actors and crew members to their limits. In one film, he made the actress perform her scene one hundred and twenty seven times, which is the record for the most number of takes of a single scene in film history.

Cameron is another one. He shoots in real underwater environments, and poses risks and challenges for the cast and crew. One of his actors was required to hold her breath for seven minutes, and when she finally came to the surface, she asked the camera man, am I dead yet?

Well, congratulations, perfectionistic assholes. You turned that unnoticeable twenty percent improvement into a daily nightmare for multiple people.

That’s the worst part about this personality. People’s never ending quest for perfection leaves everyone in their wake exasperated, despite negligible impact.

Do the math.

Would those movies honestly be that much worse if the director decided to do ten takes instead of eighty? Is it worth casting a dark cloud over every interaction just to have improvements unnoticed by virtually nobody?

I’ve had bosses like this. I dreaded collaborative projects with them, because their insistence on countless revisions drove everyone to the brink of insanity.

I understand their intentions were rooted in the pursuit of quality, and I get that being a manger is hard, and I would probably be bad at that job.

But good lord. Everything eventually reaches a point of diminishing returns. Perfectionists almost always fail to see the bigger picture and lose focus on what’s most important, which is having good process, finishing in a reasonable time and feeling proud of our work.

Not extending something that should take three weeks into three months.

And I’ve read the clinical assessments for perfectionism. There are line items on the inventories like this.

When I am working on something, I cannot relax until it is perfect.

Do you know someone like this? Have you ever seen that perfectionism pay off in a significant way?

I know people like this, and in my experience, it’s not only a failure of emotional regulation, but a failure of interpersonal relating. People who can’t relax until things are perfect only stress everyone else out. Their insecurity infects the rest of the team. No matter how noble they believe their meticulousness is, all they’re doing is raising the blood pressure of everyone in their presence.

But enough complaining. It’s time to do something about this problem. In order to prevent this maladaptive behavior from further corroding our society, I will now make a bold suggestion.

I would like to start a campaign to influence human resources departments across the country to implement a new rule in their hiring practices. Immediate disqualification of any candidate who refers to themselves as a perfectionist. I know this might sound like unlawful discrimination, but in a world driven by the pursuit of perfection, we must champion imperfectionism as a healthier pathway to success and wellbeing.

In fact, I bet we could advocate for a legit policy change. Dumber laws than this have been passed. If we connected with lawmakers, wrote letters, and engaged in public discussions to advocate, we could change labor and employment regulations for good.

My name for this revolutionary legislation would be the Imperfectionism in Employment Act. Here’s our official proposal.

The purpose of this bill is to promote a more inclusive, adaptable, and psychologically healthy work environment by discouraging the excessive pursuit of perfectionism in hiring practices. By shifting the focus to qualities such as adaptability, collaboration, and growth mindset, this bill aims to foster greater creativity, innovation, and employee wellbeing. Any employer found in violation of this act shall be subject to fines and other appropriate penalties as determined by the department of labor.

Understandably, my campaign will be met with resistance. I can already hear the right wing capitalists in an uproar over this imperfectionism legislation. The act would send shockwaves through the corridors of power, creating a frenzy of disbelief among people who worship at the altar of profit. They’d call my policy an affront to traditional conservative values.

An assault on meritocracy! A thorn in the side of those who believe uncompromising pursuit of success, no matter the cost!

I’ve anticipated such remarks, so I’ve hired a special spokesperson to help smooth things over.

Grover. T

he beloved and furry blue monster from everyone’s favorite kids show.

Grover, known for his charming personality and educational prowess, will help convey the essence of the act. His goal is to empower individuals to find their unique path to achievement, all while respecting personal autonomy and choices. Grover even wrote a special nursery rhyme to help convey the complex ideas about imperfectionism in a simple and accessible format. Sing along with me.

I don’t judge those who let things be, it’s their choice, and that’s okay with me.

Not my job to make them strive, or be their coach to make them thrive.

I’ll achieve and excel with glee, but won’t force my ways on thee.

We’re unique, you see, my friend, each journey has its special blend.

We all choose how much to give, In the way we choose to live.

Autonomy and freedom, that’s the key, respecting choices, you and me.

By the way, did you notice the seven typos in this essay? If so, then you might be a perfectionist.

Just kidding. There are actually eleven typos.

Point being, there’s more to life than demanding everyone around you meet impossibly high standards. It’s not only a failure of emotional regulation, but a failure of interpersonal relating.

Learn to value people, even if they give up, even they half ass things, even if they’re not motivated, and even if they don’t strive to better themselves.

Save the unrealistic expectations for yourself, and let the rest of the world do as they please.

No one will notice the difference anyway. W

hat if each person’s unique priorities and motivations were good enough for you?