We apply a drop of oil to keep friction away

We should seek to operate with as much honesty and integrity as we can afford.

The key word in that sentence is afford.

Because those are some very expensive and labor intensive values to uphold every minute of every day. Stubbornly staying true to ourselves, it’s not exactly downhill work. Integrity can be exhausting, can’t it?

Charlize’s screen portrayal of the first female president comes to mind. In one notable scene, she lectures her idealistic boyfriend about integrity:

You never compromise for anything in your life, and that gives you the perfect excuse to fail. But I’m not giving up everything I ever wanted just because it doesn’t live up to your moral code.

Where was that advice ten years ago? Would have been helpful to me. But I was too busy sticking to my guns, only to shoot myself in the foot.

Stupid integrity, hasn’t earned me a dime.

The question I have no learned to ask myself is:

Where are you willing to make reasonable but not unfair compromises? How can you find a middle ground that’s imperfect but not unworkable?

Some basic math might do the trick. Hell, if a certain decision adds value to our life at a level that outweighs the downside, then it’s not like we’re selling out and sacrificing our values, it’s just a technique of adjustment. We apply a drop of oil to keep the friction away.

Rather than forcing harsh mandates on our imperfect selves, we negotiate a deal that makes us feel okay with ourselves.

During my stint at an advertising agency where the work was mundane and unfulfilling, I gladly accepted a level of career compromise in the service of something greater. It didn’t feel out of integrity because my day job created the financial buffer of commercial pay which funded something bigger, which was the writing, directing, producing and releasing of my animated folk rock opera, of which I’m insanely proud.

The best part is, by biting the bullet in my day job, creative compromise wasn’t even on the table for my own personal work.

I spared no expense. Hired the most talented, expensive animator I could find, and along with my art director, I executed everything I wanted, exactly the way I wanted to, with all the honest and integrity in the world.

Where are you willing to make reasonable but not unfair compromises?

If you’re the kind of person who shuts themselves off to anything that doesn’t completely live up to your moral code, I would like you to consider the possibility that you have made the wrong investment.

You only need to apply a small drop of oil to keep the friction away.

What kind of compromise can you live with?