Using our awareness like a scalpel

We grow angry at ourselves for all the things we’re not doing for our careers.

Meanwhile, constantly comparing of ourselves to people who are doing the things we think we should be doing, that only leads us into minimizing and denying the things we’re already doing well.

It’s a vicious, unkind cycle, and it’s a problem of acceptance. Our inability to believe that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be keeps us from relaxing into the moment.

My mentor once said something about this issue that always stuck with me. He was doing a workshop about business growth when the topic of focus came up. Somebody asked him how he managed to stay so relaxed and so productive at the same time. His response wasn’t a technique or a software application.

Mark just said that he didn’t have a big furnace to feed.

Despite the constant bombardment and indoctrination of shoulds, he worked hard to free himself from their tyranny and stay focused on a few things he loved, was good at, and customers wanted.

An advanced degree in acceptance right there. Noticing that inner tension between what we want and what others say we should have, and acting accordingly, that’s inspiring to me. It’s not an easy place to get to, but it’s certainly a worthwhile posture to aspire to.

Ellis wrote that people take their strong desires and preferences and raise, escalate and propel them into absolutist musts, shoulds and demands, and that is the primary cause of their suffering.

Perhaps this is the ultimate artistic challenge for the creator.

Can we use our vast powers of imagination to notice our own cognitive distortions? Can we use our awareness like a scalpel to carve away at nonessential matter blocking our finest expression?

We may as well save some creativity for ourselves. And maybe we will have a real chance at joy.

What furnace have you convinced yourself that you still need to feed?