Trust that our thinking is the place we find our freedom

I have the absolute right to think anything that occurs to me.

I don’t have to play nice inside my head.

I will not feel embarrassed about my own thoughts, nor will I harm myself by turning against them.

If there’s a politically profane, socially heretical, sexually bizarre, or morally problematic idea that abruptly pops into my head, then there’s nothing wrong with me. My mind is my own. It belongs to me.

Unlike having a mortgage, where you don’t really own your house (the bank does), my inner world is my property. It’s mine. It’s a part of my identity. It may not be perfect, but nobody can take it away from me.

Unless a surgeon involuntarily restrains me to a gurney and performs and frontal lobotomy, or if the mob kidnaps me and stuffs psychoactive drugs down my throat that trigger delusional psychosis, I can pretty much think anything I want, at any time. There’s government agency whose mission is to suppress my ideas which deviate from the way of thinking that they believe to be correct.

Isn’t that profoundly empowering? It certainly is to me. Particularly in our oversensitive, hyper offended society where, apparently, there are questions I’m not allowed to ask, words I’m not allowed to say, and ideas I’m not allowed to express.

Maybe that’s why it feels so healthy and liberating to think whatever I want. Doing so makes me feel super connected to my core self in a uniquely satisfying way.

Psychologists often refer to these moments as waking fantasies. Elective experiences to be pursued and celebrated by choice. Where the focus isn’t about getting rid of the mental hot potato, but releasing it and using it to grow into a more constructive and less angry version of ourselves.

Do you have the absolute right to think anything that occurs to you? Are you giving yourself permission to be your real self in a perfectly ethical way?

If so, then calmness will ensue. My therapist friend, who works with obsessive compulsive patients, says she tells people this.

Anytime you have a random thought that’s bizarre or inappropriate, do the math. Remind yourself that this thought is simply one of the seventy thousand electrical impulses that fired off in your brain today. Trust that it’s not who you are. Trust that it has no bearing on your intentions and moral character. And trust that it doesn’t represent a real desire to act. You’re merely product of your brain’s constant motion, and sometimes what it produces is inexplicably horrifying.

Now, compare that inner monologue with the alternative that most people choose.

Panicked efforts to avoid and suppress their thoughts.

That only makes things worse. Criticizing ourselves for being human? That only keeps compassion off the table. This type of relationship with our inner life is not doing us any favors.

Show me someone who doesn’t allow themselves to think whatever they want, and I’ll show you an uncreative, uneasy and unsatisfied person.

Let’s not judge ourselves too harshly for these crazy movies our minds show. Playing nice inside our heads isn’t always the path to fulfillment.

Sometimes we need to play dirty. Prison rules.

We need to trust that our thinking is the place we find our freedom, and say the things we believe we’re not allowed to express.

If your thought was merely one of seventy thousand electrical impulses that fired off in your brain today, why not have some fun with it?