The problem isn’t overthinking, it’s underacting

Over thinking means thinking about something too much for too long.

But how much is too much? And how long is too long?

Thirty minutes? Three hours?

The boundaries are subjective. People will have differing and valid opinions on what constitutes a reasonable volume and duration of thought.

It’s funny, because when someone criticizes me for overthinking, I immediately wonder if they’re projecting their insecurities. Because maybe they’re uncomfortable with deep and complex emotions, so they feel the need to stop me from thinking any further.

Maybe they’re trying to shut down our vulnerable conversation before it gets too heavy. Or maybe they’re looking for validation about their less analytical approach to solving problems.

My hypothesis is, people confuse overthinking with thinking carefully. They mistake ruminating for reflecting deeply.

But there is a clinical distinction. Psychologists have designed scales and assessments to measure rumination and related cognitive processes.

I’ve spent some time reading through these scales, and it seems the line between over thinking, and simply thinking deeply, all depends on the degree to which it impacts emotional wellbeing, cognitive patterns, behaviors, and coping strategies.

If you get up in your head about a stalled project at work, and no course of action is decided upon within a reasonable time frame, the sounds like an overthinking problem.

Or if you continue to ruminate about your work project over the weekend, to the point that it disrupts your family time, then that’s too much for too long.

But if you’re analyzing recent events at your office to understand why you’ve been so depressed at work lately, and that leads to breakthroughs, count that as a win. Or if you need a good chunk of time to fully experience whatever thoughts, feelings and sensations come up for you in regards to your changing career, then mission accomplished.

It’s all about cash value.

See, too many people go out of their way to avoid the situations that might bring difficult thoughts, feelings, or sensations. They seek temporary reprieve from emotions which they should learn how to handle anyway.

In that case, thinking deeply might actually do them some good. The stress would spring them into action.

Are you over thinking, or merely thinking carefully?