The new story we take our identity from

I recently had a heart to heart conversation with a colleague of mine, whose business volume isn’t nearly at the level as he wants it to be.

You could hear the fear in his voice. He even admitted, without the business, he didn’t know what he would do with himself.

Who can’t relate to that struggle? It’s a scary and vulnerable place to be. I’ve been there myself a few times myself. And what’s interesting is, the longer I stay in the game, and the more laps around the merry go round I make, the less pressure I feel to put all my creative eggs in one basket.

And not because I lack commitment or don’t believe in my own abilities as an artist. But because I’m realistic about the future. I’m mature enough to accept that it could all be gone tomorrow.

And if that’s the case, so be it. I’m a smart and talented guy. I’ll find something else. Everything will be fine.

Benedict, the founder of western monasticism, the patron saint of balance, moderation and reasonableness, famously used a mantra that I’ve always appreciated:

Keep death daily before your eyes.

Meaning, never cling to anything too tightly. Don’t over identity. Learn to experience life with a reverence and awareness that it could all be whisked away on a moment’s notice. It’s the kind of philosophy more businesspeople should embrace.

Because as much as we love the work, as passionate as we are about what we’re building, and as committed we are to doing whatever it takes to keep the dream alive, the healthiest attitude we could have is the willingness to walk away.

And not in that alpha male, power negotiation, art of seduction, convey to your target that you’re the prize to be pursued kind of way. That’s all just macho bullshit.

This philosophy isn’t about creating attraction; it’s about surrendering attachment. Giving yourself permission to walk away from something you thought you couldn’t live without.

It’s all part of the mystery of how personal identity evolves.

Who are you, stripped of those things that tell you who you are?