The joy that accompanies the experience

My mentor has this theory that some people are only chewing on one side of their mouths.

They’re getting much less than they could from life because they are experiencing it through a very small window of their minds or souls. Bill worries, ultimately, that too many people’s gifts and talents go undeveloped, and much of their potential is unused.

Do you have this fear? That you’re living in a restricted circle of possibility?

You’re not alone. It’s the fundamental human struggle. In fact, the challenge of how to fulfill our potential has been the central question of the personal development movement, having its origins in the late eighteen hundreds, and later gained mainstream adoption in the early sixties.

But for over a century now, everyone from doctors to musicians to therapists to athletes to clergy have been trying to figure out why human potential always seems to be greater than its realized actuality.

There is no right answer, but several ideas come to mind.

Maybe it’s a focus thing. People simply don’t put a priority on actualizing their potential. Their way of life is exhausting and they don’t have any energy left to devote to it. Spending minutes here and there doing what they feel they were put on this earth to do doesn’t cut it.

Maybe it’s an accessibility thing. The idea of potential is simply too grandiose and overwhelming, so people can’t nail the application of it to everyday matters. They don’t know how to convert their potential into energy and genuine accomplishments.

Maybe it’s a fear thing. People are perfectionists whose high standards are unreachable, so they’re afraid that anything that isn’t amazing will feel like a waste. And so, why even bother starting in the first place?

Maybe it’s an ego thing. People doubt that even if they do manifest their potential, nothing meaningful will actually come from unleashing it. The process isn’t fulfilling enough on its own, so they need to see external results in order to justify the effort. Because make your dreams a reality if there’s nobody watching?

Maybe it’s a guilt thing. Burdened by inner pressure from a chorus of authoritarian and shaming voices, the knowledge that they have not sufficiently manifested their potential yet creates negative momentum. And after a while, the increasing weight of all that negativity is too heavy to overcome.

All of these examples are how people are chewing on one side of their mouths. Which ones resonate most with you?

Redford has an inspiring speech in one of his movies about the problem of potential. He asks his student the question:

Why is it better to try and fail than fail to try, if you end up in the same place? To which he answers, because at least you did something. And as you get older, promise and potential are very fickle. They just might not be there anymore.

Does that mean it’s too late? Not necessarily. Although it’s certainly easier when you’re young and hungry and the world is still in front of you.

But the idea of manifesting your potential in everything you doesn’t have to be as overwhelming as you think. You can start small, for example articulating a statement about realizing your potential, sharing it with people you love, and reciting aloud it each day.

That affirmation doesn’t substitute for doing the work, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Why are you disconnected from the joy that accompanies the experience of actualizing your potentialities?