Start where you’re already strong

The concept of vitality refers to the subjective experience of feeling alive and alert, having energy available to the self.

Researchers have said it’s considered to be a crucial aspect of eudemonic wellbeing. Vitality describes what it means to be fully functioning and psychologically well.

There’s even something called the subjective vitality scale, which has been widely used in studies to measure the feeling. My top question on the scale goes like this.

Do you sometimes feel so alive that you just want to burst?

Now, if you’re fortunate enough to be able to answer yes to that question, at least some percentage of the time, you’ve reached the top percentile of human happiness.

Because the opposite is far more common. Instead of feeling highly energized and exuberant about life, many people feel deflated and flat like punctured balloons. Instead of bounding out of bed ready to take on new pursuits and opportunities, they wake up like they never even slept.

And the negative consequences of that lack of vitality are simply heinous.

One of my good friends battled a bout of depression for an entire year. After a decade of her chaotic work schedule and a few toxic relationships, the emotional chickens finally come home to roost. She told me that it was as if all the unresolved shit from her twenties just showed up on her doorstep one day and moved into her apartment. All of that trauma had embedded itself into her nervous system, and that’s why she was so distraught.

Can you imagine how far away vitality must have felt for someone like that?

Blech. Awful.

My friend and I spent many afternoons together during her depressive phase, and it broke my heart to feel her lack of exuberance for life. It’s one of those human qualities that’s very noticeable in its absence.

Because when you’re constantly not wanting to be who you are, it really fucks with your head. You feel betrayed by your own body and mind. You don’t feel so alive that you just want to burst, you feel so numb that you just want to cry.

What’s the pathway out of this mess? How does one reinflate their existential balloon?

Tillich, the imminent philosopher and theologian, offers answer in his inspiring book of spiritual and philosophical thought. He writes:

Man’s vitality is as great as his intentionality. They are interdependent. This makes man the most vital of all beings. He can transcend any given situation in any direction and this possibility drives him to create beyond himself.

This insight would have been hugely helpful to me about a decade ago. There was a summer when my business was very slow and my sense of purpose was very low. Somebody really should have told me, dude, start where you’re already strong.

Forget about what you’re good at or bad at. Focus on what naturally gives you energy. Think about your all time favorite activities that almost always let you feel alive. Now try doing one for them for fifteen minutes.

That’s it. Fifteen minutes. It’s literally a thousandth of your entire day.

My thirty year old self would have benefitted from such an intention. The piercing immediacy of concrete vitality would have returned in no time. Even if it only lasted for a short while.

My recommendation is, don’t ever allow your life force to ebb away with scarcely a protest. Make a handy list of all the things that spark a heightened sense of aliveness rather than a bone deep exhaustion. Keep it with you at all times.

And next time you feel the blood draining out of your system, just pick one off the list.

Start where you’re already strong.

It’s simpler than it sounds, harder than you think, but more powerful than you realize.

How often are you doing things that make you feel so alive that you just want to burst?