Listening to both of your voices

When you’re confronted with a difficult situation you’ve never experienced before, it’s helpful to engage the two most common opposing voices.

What would the cynic say? What would the optimist say?

This bifurcation helps identify the opposing polarities of the situation so you can figure out where you exist on the spectrum. Neither is right or wrong, but it’s helpful perspective. Here’s an example.

Imagine your manager puts you on a performance improvement plan. You feel confused and surprised, as it’s news to you that you’re not meeting expectations.

Now, the cynical voice would say:

This is merely a corporate misnomer. Institutional bullying that has nothing to do with improving your performance, and everything to do with documenting just enough evidence to show you the door.

The performance improvement plan isn’t some roadmap keep your job, they’re just checking the necessary boxes before termination. It’s a formality. A paper trail. A death sentence. A validation for the predetermined decision to fire you.

You’re on thin ice and you’re on your way out. This company has unrealistic expectations, or someone up high is a baby and doesn’t like you. Or the leaders are attempting to reduce headcount after disastrous financial performance, and they need to cover their asses.

Besides, during the unreasonably short period in which you’re given to improve, the expectations will be insane, the probationary work will stressful and it will become obvious that the organization had no intention of passing you in the first place.

It’s the equivalent of getting ready to for a hanging, so say your last prayers while you’re walking the green mile and hope there’s an afterlife. Rather than sinking all your energy into saving this job, you may as well invest that effort into looking for a new opportunity. Because even if you did meet their criteria, would you really want to continue working somewhere you’re clearly not wanted?

Once again, that is what the cynical voice would say.

But the optimist, on the other hand, would view the situation much more positively.

Wow, this is a wakeup call. No need to panic. You’ve been given a chance to learn about your blind spots, course correct and make a comeback. The company expected more of you, but they’re not giving up on you just yet, so they’re offering one more chance.

Don’t miss out on this growth opportunity. The improvement plan is an honest and effective management tool used to help turn around struggling employees. Look, if they didn’t care, they would have already fired you by now. It doesn’t negatively impact your sense of worthiness or suggest you suck at your job.

It just shows that the organization views you as a valuable employee and believes that the issues you’re going through are fixable.

What’s more, you can ask for help. Other team members are happy to pitch in so you can crush this probationary period. The process will stretch your limits and challenge you, but the growth will be worth it.

It’s kind of like being audited by the internal revenue service. Accept that you have to eat shit, give them exactly what they ask for, and once your manager sees how willing you are to recommit to improved performance, we can put this all behind us and get back to work.

You’ll bounce back and be better for it, people will respect you more for doubling down, and your work going forward will be better because of it.

And that’s what the optimist would say.

Which voice do you favor during difficult situations like this? Where do you typically sit on the emotional spectrum?

Personally, the angry, hurt part of me that feels rejected wants to focus on the cynical voice. Because it’s so narcotically soothing. It’s cathartic to flip the bird to the man when you’re stressed and blindsided.

Screw those jerks, they don’t deserve me. That feels like an authentic, empowered version of myself.

On the other hand, I’m an optimist by nature.

Another part of me is like, man, this is fantastic. I’m going to be so much better at my job for having gone through this process. I know I’m going to look back in a year and realize that this wakeup call was exactly what I needed to get to the next level.

That feels like a mature, sophisticated version of myself.

Do we listen to the quiet, calm voices whispering words of encouragement who are gently pointing out possibilities? Or do we listen to our soul’s protector telling us this is a red flag factory and we should run in the other direction as fast as humanly possible?

I was recently reading an article from a psychotherapy clinic, and they suggested that neither cynicism and optimist are part of the same spectrum, but neither accurate or objective.

Neither posture is in touch with reality. Because things aren’t all bad or all good.

Whereas true realists of the world observe and account for all data, irrespective of its positive or negative quality.

Personally, I’ve been both the cynic and the optimists before, in multiple instances. And every time another difficult situation comes along, I try to remind myself of something.

The right decision is the one you make. The right path is the one you take.

What’s worse, thinking that you’re paranoid, or knowing that you should be?