Let the learning crowd out the loathing

Motivation isn’t something that happens to you, it happens in you.

The call has to come from inside the house. Otherwise forward motion will always elude you.

Because of this internal locus of control, there is a direct relationship between motivation and worthiness. The degree to which you value or don’t value yourself has an impact on your willingness to engage in any goal directed behavior.

Here is a tool that worked for me as I dealt with my own struggles with unworthiness.

Baby step your way to a higher perception of your own value. Rather than seeing yourself as a piece of shit nobody loves, figure out what specific actions you would have to take, to be able to lay your head down at night and say, I’m improving every day.

Reverse engineer that affirmation. Focus on progress, not perfection.

When I was a sophomore in college, I was probably the loneliest I had ever been in my life. Friendless and girlfriendless and directionless. Why else do you think I started wearing a nametag every day?

And yet, those first six months were brutal. Because I was suddenly being seen, really seen, in a new way. People noticed me. Not only that, but people liked me. Not all of them, but enough of them engaged with my nametag, that I felt I was raising in my interpersonal game. Progress was incremental, but it wasn’t insignificant.

It’s amazing what talking to a few strangers a day can do to your perception of your own value. The social mirror is a bright and beautiful thing.

What story are you telling yourself about your own worth?