I’d love to take all the credit for this project, so I will. Thank you.

Not beating ourselves up when we lose is deeply important.

Having compassion for our mistakes, failures and setbacks is the first step to bouncing back.

Similarly, not discounting ourselves when we succeed is equally as important. When we experience feelings of accomplishment, we owe it to ourselves to confidently attribute success to hard work and discipline, rather than submissively shrugging it off as luck or chance.

We take ownership over success, believing that our circumstances are is the way they are because we wanted them that way, we did great work to make them that way, and we have the tools to keep them that way.

That’s not hubris, that’s healthy perspective. Pride doesn’t have to be the sin our puritanical ancestors made it out to be. We don’t have to downplay our talents to endear ourselves to coworkers or secure a spot in heaven.

Nor do we have to deny our worth to make the people around us feel superior. Dimming our light only degrades our sense of efficacy.

It only makes it harder to believe in our ability to succeed down the road. And that cheats those around us the benefit of our full range of contributions.

Personally, my midwestern, awshucks, people pleasing nature defaults to this posture. Rather than stepping into the light to take ownership of my successes, I can be too quick to deflect and deny any shred of recognition and responsibility for the win.

It’s why my favorite joke around our startup office goes like this. Anytime I finish a new initiative and get praised by the team, I respond with:

Well, I’d love to take all the credit for this project, so I will. Thank you.

It gets a chuckle every time. Because clearly, none of us are islands here. Great work doesn’t ship in a vacuum. Everyone on the team knows that it’s a collaborative effort.

But taking that little moment to pump my fist in the air and claim the win feels like an act of kindness towards myself. It builds my sense of efficacy for the next project, the next project after that, and the next one after that.

Doesn’t mean success is always guaranteed, and it doesn’t mean that forces outside of me won’t come to my aid. The purpose here is true belief over false modesty.

How do you talk to yourself about your successes? Do you casually chalk them up to chance, luck, timing and coincidence, or are you willing to take ownership over all the discipline and hard work that you invested?

If the inner monologue needs a confidence boost, try this. Next time you do something you’re legitimately proud of, forget the cultural conditioning that says modesty is a virtue.

Accept that being pleased with yourself is not a crime against god. Stand in recognition of your accomplishment and say, boom, nailed it.

Take a bow.

There’s no governing body or ethics committee who’s going to scold you for loving yourself.

Do you know the difference between hubris and healthy perspective?