Forming a vision of change that needs to occur

Insight is the degree of personal awareness, active acceptance and conscious understanding we have about our own condition.

It’s the opposite of denial. We use introspection to penetrate into the hidden nature of things, and form a vision of change that needs to occur.

Now, insight is a complex and multifaceted subject that’s been studied for over a hundred years. There are countless psychological theories, scales, assessments and methodologies on this topic.

I am not a mental health professional, but here’s what I’ve noticed in my own life experience. Most of these moments of insight contain several key elements.

First, insights are unexpected.

There is a clear and often sudden discernment that is nonobvious.

Next, they involve an untapped and compelling belief. Usually about a barrier that stops us from achieving what we want. Insights also create a sense of disequilibrium. There’s an abrupt realization of the solution to the problem.

And ultimately, this moment is what alters our momentum.

I remember one particular insight I had in college that changed my life forever. In my second year at university, I was feeling deeply lonely and lost and invisible, but I wasn’t sure why. I had always been an extroverted, funny, friendly guy. Connecting with others was never an issue for me before.

Why was it different now?

And then I realized. Oh wait a minute. I’m always sober. I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs. And that’s a social barrier when you’re in college. It didn’t matter in high school, but at the university level, it’s a different ballgame. The choice itself is not objectively good or bad, right or wrong. It’s simply against the status quo.

Recent research shows that eighty percent of college students, that’s four out of every five people, consume alcohol to some degree.

So when someone abstains, that can be quite scary, confusing, unattractive and triggering for others. After all, who wants to hang out with the sober guy on quarter pitcher night? People assume the sober guy is either super religious and judging their actions, boring as shit and not worth talking to, or an undercover narc.

Well sheeeit. No wonder it’s so hard to connect. By making this choice, have made myself less approachable. Woops.

But that was only part of the insight. The real epiphany came later.

One evening during my junior year, just for fun, I had an idea. Maybe I’ll wear a nametag when I go out tonight. As a social experiment to see if people treat me any differently.

Sure enough, my entire interpersonal dynamic changed. That night, it felt like everyone wanted to say hello and strike up conversations with me, everywhere I went. Sometimes out of sheer curiosity, sometimes out of friendliness, sometimes out of confusion and annoyance.

Didn’t matter to me. I was just happy to be talking to people.

This is where the insight crystallized. I had a moment of personal awareness, active acceptance and conscious understanding about my own condition.

Because I noticed that while wearing a nametag,  nobody said a word to me about not drinking. Nobody commented that I wasn’t high like everyone else. There were no awkward moments where people acted insecure about my being sober. It was a nonissue. I slap on this nametag, and suddenly, people start treating me as a person, and not a preference.

Cue the chorus of angels. I have penetrated into the hidden nature of things. Behold, the vision of change that needed to occur unfolded before my very eyes.

As you probably know, I haven’t taken my nametag off since that night. That was more than twenty years ago.

Do you remember having that sudden discernment that was nonobvious? Did it create a sense of disequilibrium and abrupt realization of the solution to your problem?

Insight is transformative like that. It may be the most potent momentum building force the universe.

I was reading a neuroimaging study about the biology behind this. Drexel’s creativity research lab showed these types of insights trigger a burst of activity in the brain’s reward system, the same system which responds to delicious foods, addictive substances, orgasms and other basic pleasures.

This is why so many of the best therapists center their treatment around the facilitation of insight. Their techniques and interventions aim to help patients connect past experiences to current struggles and lay the foundation for future growth.

Insight is thee mechanism for positive change and wellbeing.

Of course, only if we attach action to it. Awareness without applying newfound knowledge to future experiences doesn’t move our story forward. The bulk of the work is developing our ability to use insight to modify our behavior accordingly.

As example, take an experience like a performance review. An official evaluation of strengths and weaknesses on the job. Now, most employees would agree they’re pointless, soul crushing, anxiety inducing rituals that only make people feel bad about their skills.

Most performance reviews are merely biannual exercises in confronting the cosmic horror of the universe’s inherent meaninglessness.

And it’s always the same conversation inside our heads.

I feel like I’m doing pretty good work around here, but then again, who knows what my boss really thinks? He says it should just be a quick chat, but that either means everything is fine, or I’m getting shitcanned.

What’s interesting about performance reviews is, they almost always contain one good insight about our behavior. Some facet of our skills that we didn’t expect.

And it’s not always a negative one. I’m reminded of the time my boss told me that my best skills were being underleveraged at our organization. She said she envisioned me becoming more of a public face for our company marketing efforts, potentially acting as an excellent moderator for internal and external event events.

That was not obvious to me. I had only been at the firm about six months at that time, so I needed her insight to help push my story forward.

After the performance review finished, I opened a new digital sticky note on my computer. And I wrote a reminder to myself, to attach action to that insight and apply my newfound knowledge to future experiences.

Remember, denial might be the longest river in the world, but insight is flowing just as abundantly.

Use the power of introspection to penetrate into the hidden nature of things, and you will form a vision of change that needs to occur.

Even if you don’t wear a nametag, it will still stick.

What’s the last insight you had that cost nothing but changed everything?