Don’t take things personally, people are only talking about themselves

Most creative people have developed a hypersensitive relationship to the world.

And that’s what allows them to do the work they do. Artists think and feel things that other people can’t express for themselves. They can deliver something that their audience can’t find on its own.

Unfortunately, that hypersensitivity results in artists taking everything personally. They overanalyze, ruminate and even become depressed and anxious over brief interpersonal interactions, wondering if their criticizer was onto something.

I once spent an entire summer beating myself up over a one line email from an angry reader. And I became trapped in a bitter, ruminative loop that left me awash in fury and resentment and made me feel irritable and on edge most of the time.

A woman I practice yoga with once gave me a great tip for this very situation. She said, don’t take things personally, because people are only talking about themselves.

It’s so true. Most people are just projecting their autobiography onto others. Spewing their emotional bile onto whoever crosses their path.

And so, if we allow people’s external criticism to trump our own belief in ourselves, the joke’s on us. Because we’ll grow so busy and stressed trying to absorb and neutralize everyone’s feedback that we’ll never get anything done.

Are you allowing the words and actions of others to define your reality?