Can I come here once a week for just fun?

I only got sent to detention once.

I forget what I did to deserve it, probably cursed during class or refused to follow directions.

But I vividly remember my experience. After the final bell rang at three, I grabbed my bag and reported to a mysterious classroom in the basement.

There were about twenty students there from various grades, and nobody made a sound. I handed the teacher up front my detention slip. He pointed to an empty desk and told me to sit down.

On the chalkboard it read, no talking, no sleeping, no food, no drinks. Stay seated. Do your work.

I looked around at the other kids staring blankly into space and thought, uh, okay, I guess, let’s get to it.

Then I proceeded to have the most productive hour of my semester. I knocked out a bunch of math problems, finished my reading assignment for literature class, studied for my history exam, even jotted down some lyric ideas for a song I was working on.

Time flew by. I was in the zone. Before I knew it, four o’clock rolled around. The detention bell buzzed and the teacher dismissed us.

I looked up from my work completely puzzled.

Wait, that’s it? That was my punishment for disrupting class? Dude, I am genuinely bummed detention is over. Oh well.

So I dropped my bag in my locker, walked out to my car, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon.

Now, I don’t remember what I did for the remainder of the day, but one thing’s for sure, I felt light, happy and free. All those movies, books, commercials and television shows that depicted detention as a torturous academic hellhole, it was nothing like that.

Detention wasn’t some nightmarish purgatory of lingering guilt over what I did wrong that gnawed at my soul until it brought me to tears. There wasn’t a teacher with a wooden ruler, watching all of his hostages with eyes of cold steel, waiting to snap at any punk who stepped out of line.

It was just a nice, quiet place with no disruptions where I could be productive.

Wow, detention rules! Can I come here once a week for just fun? I could get used to this.

Maybe I’ll start chewing gum during class and make it a regular thing.