The single greatest technological advancement in human accountability

It’s time we took drastic measures.

Since there’s no hope in changing people’s behavior, since they’re not going to suddenly kick their addiction to phones, technology, digital media, whatever, I’m going to recommend a groundbreaking solution.

A new feature that automatically responds to unanswered texts and calls with an honest message. After two weeks of radio silence, the phone will reply:

I got your message, but I prioritize escapism, distraction and consumption. That’s why I haven’t gotten back to you. It hasn’t been so crazy lately, I’m just terrible at managing my time.

Now we can be honest about our complete inability to respond to anything important. This new feature will roll out across all major carriers. Apple and other phone manufacturers could bake into their next upgrade and market it as a productivity tool.

Imagine the societal shift if people were forced to confront the actual reason they ignore messages. No more pretending to be overwhelmed, no more passive aggressive ghosting or breadcrumbing, just pure, unfiltered truth.

In the past, people ignored messages and lied about being busy. Now they can ignore messages while fully embracing their lack of time management.

It would be the single greatest technological advancement in human accountability. Tell me you wouldn’t appreciate getting a message like this.

Because then you could finally delete your expectations about anyone ever getting back to you.

Look, this is where we’re at as a society. I’m not saying people don’t change, I’m just saying, let’s not hold our breath waiting for them to do so. My autoresponder would give people permission to move on with their lives.

Once enough of us start using it, not having it will make people look outdated. It’s only a matter of time before all carriers and phone manufacturers implement it.

Bottom line is, the smartphone is the portal to evil. Single worst invention of the modern era. It’s time to do something positive with these glass devils, and leverage this technology for what is sorely lacking in our society. Accountability.

Remember, the phone is only the beginning. Soon people will adopt this ritual in all of their communications, digital or otherwise. Face to face conversation, group meetings, email, instant messaging, all of our channels will soon be more honest and direct.

If people were this honest across the board, our collective emotional labor would decrease by an order of magnitude.

Busy my ass. You’re not busy. You just suck at responding.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to charge my phone before I get up to pee.