Neato mosquito

Our doorbell was broken, and we missed a few important package deliveries.

So my wife asked me to look into it. Having zero electrical knowledge or experience, I went down a rabbit hole to figure out how the device worked.

It was fascinating. Watched a few videos about the wiring and mechanics behind the transformer and the chime. Now I know how doorbells work.

Neato mosquito.

But when it came to fixing the transformer, clearly I was out of my depth. Repairing the chime required a few tools we didn’t have, and I was afraid of accidentally blowing a fuse, triggering an electrical fire, burning down the apartment, accidentally killing our elderly neighbors and their cat, and ultimately getting arrested for arson, involuntary manslaughter, and impersonating an electrician without a license.

Maybe leave this one to the professionals, I thought. So I asked the landlord to have the building super look into it. Who fixed the doorbell in about a half hour. Done and done.

But I’m glad I looked into it. A younger version of me would have skipped right to calling the super.

But one thing that’s changed about me as I’ve gotten older is, I like to see how far my curiosity can take me. To keep going until I hit the edge of my competence. It’s kind of fun. And sometimes the fix isn’t as complicated as I think, and it’s mostly just my own fear that stands in the way.

And that’s the thing. I don’t want my own lack of agency or confidence to be the reason that something important stays broken. So my system is to keep trying until I hit the wall, literally and figuratively, and when it’s time to outsource, I stop.

I don’t know about you, but that process is a source of meaning for me. There’s a net gain in understanding, both about the device in question, and about my own limitations. I learned that I cannot fix a doorbell, but also how a doorbell itself works.

Now, that information may not be useful, except maybe on a random trivia night six years from now. But the net gain comes from the process of trying. That builds internal trust. My narrative continues to be:

I can always learn enough not to be an idiot, even if it’s not enough to be effective. Neato mosquito.

What’s the last thing you tried and failed to fix? Aren’t you glad you at least gave it a shot?

It’s interesting, I never thought curiosity could be the antidote to helplessness, but it really works. Turns out, there’s a huge difference between, I’m helpless, I can’t do this; and, I tested the system, and it’s not worth going further.

That’s not a failure in my book. If I saw a problem, investigated it, tried to solve it, evaluated my own skill level, and then made a decision based on evidence, that’s competency in motion. I’m proud of that effort.

Whereas if I had simply sent a text message to my landlord saying, tiny issue with the doorbell, no rush, but please fix it when you can, there would have been zero net gain. Neato mosquito.

That’s actually a really useful mantra for this whole process. Neato mosquito.

I learned that phrase from my cousin. He’s an engineer, a curious scientist, and the kind of guy who indexes high on agency. Kyle enjoys hitting the edge of his competence. I’ve seen him do it in real time. He will keep trying until he hits the wall. He respects the dignity of attempting before surrendering. And no matter the result, at some point he will say, neato mosquito.

So now I say those two words anytime I learn something interesting that I otherwise never would have known, had I not tried. Neato mosquito. Marking the exact moment when curiosity causes a net gain of understanding, even if I hit the wall.

That little snippet of language reframes partial success, or even outright failure, into a moment of personal growth. It’s a verbal flag I plant at the summit of my own learning curve. My way of signaling a pause between competence and surrender.

Ultimately anchoring the experience in levity, not shame.

The younger version of me might have said, I suck at this kind of stuff. But now I say neato mosquito. Now the experience is tagged and archived as exploration, rather than defeat.

The best part is, the mantra is transferable. Anytime there’s a net gain in understanding, either about my own devices, or simply a device, I can say it.

Mosquitos are perfectly fitting for the mantra. They’re persistent. Lightly buzzing at the edges of problems until they suck out your blood, or back off. Pound for pound, they’re among the most consequential beings on earth.

They carry diseases that wipe out entire populations. Not to mention, they created jurassic park.

The entire resurrection of dinosaurs hinged on one tiny creature, a prehistoric bug trapped in amber. The insect’s preserved bloodmeal was the key to genetic success.

Thanks to those little skeeters, now there’s an entire island nation where raptors and pterodactyls go on rampages terrorizing idiot tourists.

You may think it’s just a movie, but that place is real. Spielberg said it himself. Life found a way.

Neato mosquito.

So next time something breaks, see how far your curiosity can take you. Keep going until you hit the wall. And try not to burn the building down.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to google how to give yourself a colonoscopy.